I'm Not Happy 'Til You're Not Happy

by Adulting

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A long time coming, enjoy it's free to download!


released September 23, 2016

Vocals, Guitars, Bass, Programming, Glockenspeil- Stanley Beck
Trumpet- Ryan Lepage
Back up vocals- Andrew Cash, Michael Spaulding
Spoken word- Robert Leonard
Gang Vocals- Adam Rowe, Michael Spaulding, Switzerland, Jamaica, Stanley Beck

Engineered by Adam Rowe & Stanley Beck
Cover Design- Sarah Murphy

Thanks to the following people for their creative influence over the years:
Sky Kochenhour, Andrew Alden, Warren Foster, Neil Freebern, David DeVine, Drew Ash, Jesse Zimmerman, Nate Hagelin, Josh Lussier, Logan Hall, Nicholas Payson, Amber Sinclair, Adam Rowe, Andrew Cash

A big thanks to Kathryn Anderson for letting me use her baby photo as my album cover!



all rights reserved


Adulting Portland, Maine

Pasta-Punk from Portland Maine

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Track Name: Estate
I don’t belong anymore to the books and the records on my floor
Not to anything in this room
Cause getting stuck in place was just a consequence of estate
In a pointless, petty, inane, old fashioned arms race

I just want the place I am to be all the company I could ever need

Some things will take and drain all the blood from your face
And never let you get away
Some things are just meant to keep your plans intent
Throw all your shit out and experience things instead

Of all good things to forget and leave
Make sure what you keep is what you need

Living well is just killing time without knowing how quickly it’s gone by
I can’t see, I can’t see a single goddamn thing that isn’t straight ahead
Or right in front of me

I just want the place I am to be all the company I could ever need

Some things will take and drain all the blood from your face
And never let you get away
Some things are just meant to keep your plans intent
Throw all your shit out and experience things instead

Quickly decide what’s worthwhile
Or what you’d want to be remembered by
A legacy of things and money
Just doesn’t appeal in the slightest to me
Track Name: My Big Mouth & I
My big mouth and I get into trouble all of the goddamn time
And I’m just about done talking and interacting forever with everyone

This year I’m gargling cement
Probably move back to my parents’ basement again
Sink into the concrete floor
When solitude always felt like the right move for sure

Think I’ll crawl back to the woods
To live simply and good
Forget what I don’t need
To just sit and be
Content in simplicity

Why do all things seem to be difficult to such a needless degree
But nothing easy ever stayed worthwhile anyway

When all else fails I’ll be chewing on dirt
Until I’m at a loss for words
Or until every person I ever met quits talking shit so goddamn dense
That disappearing seems like the only logical move of intelligence
Track Name: Patchouli Oil & Cigarettes
Announced by your odor at least two minutes in advance
The drugs, they took out your brain and left an empty expanse
And you’re dressed to the nines in the finest tie die you could find
You spent an entire months rent to find yourself but really, you just got high instead

Permeates and lingers for days
Patchouli oil and cigarettes does not a shower make

Survived by said odor, some loose tobacco and a swarm of flies
You’re spun out, or still coming down from that 3-day-cloud-like-high
And you’re content to let your presence assault the senses
Of every nice homeless dude that somehow smells less like human shit than you

Permeates and lingers for days
Patchouli oil and cigarettes does not a shower make
Track Name: Perennials
More often it seems, at least as of late
Every room I occupy feels like the wrong place
And I fucking hate myself because I don’t want to change
And I don’t understand why everyone is calling this “a phase”

I’m gonna smoke my own weight in weed
I’m gonna drink until I can no longer see
I’m gonna say fuck off to whoever I want
Regardless of where it does or doesn’t get me

More often now, these past few weeks
Every word out of your mouth is blatant critique
Do you ever shut the fuck up, or stop projecting on me
All your own clichéd insecurities

I’m not done yet being alone
I’m not scared I’ll die on my own
I’m in no rush to find myself down some road
Discontent, unhappy and old
Track Name: Doorframe
Fucking doorframe got the best of me today
So I just stayed inside and slept all the hours away
I guess the mirror’s gaze never fails to fully accentuate
All the little things about yourself that you really want to change
And curtains keep coming unaccompanied
Gravity is too convincing when I’ve got nowhere else to be

Bad thoughts play endlessly amid
The backs of my eyelids
And the door feels more than just a ways away
And I can’t face the floor today

Fucking floorboards parade around in a mockery of sorts
Curved and warped in place but still so fucking sure
The windows begin to creak and laugh
When in reality it’s most likely my voice just reflected back
Track Name: Celebrations
In recoiling to both the present and the past
Turns out I was better at enjoying things more in theory than in fact
I’d rather stare at the ground, bleed out my eyes
Than pretend you aren’t an insult to everyone living a more respectable life

I’ll celebrate falling on my face
Revel in the ordinary days
And paint the town gold in observance of routine grey

You never could read between the lines
I think you finally pioneered what it is to truly waste time
Have yourself a genuine thought
And maybe stop making everything into what it’s definitely not
Track Name: Bent
Found myself talking circles around squares
For at least the better parts of the last several years
And never found that calm people strive for
And I’m not sure when conversations turned into such a chore

Every time I open my mouth the worst things come out

I’ll be talking through my teeth to the grey concrete floors
I can’t even count on the walls not to take offense anymore

Stood in place on this blue ball for years
With every spin it feels less and less and less like I’m even from here

Still losing my mind one fucking syllable at a time
Track Name: An Optimistic Song
Could’ve sworn that I was overdue to feel like all my insides came unglued
All at once, just because, like they always used to
Almost forgot the reasons why I stopped reading into all the newspaper headlines
It just makes me tired when I’d rather be high

There are no words in the English idiom that could do justice for what kids my age have done, to the overall wellbeing of common conversation
Glued to cellular screens and some stupid shit no normal person ever should need,
Humanity is the reason I smoke weed

What a perfect goddamned day to curl up in a ball and sleep my life away
And I’ll wake up tomorrow but I won’t remember today
It’s real fucking sad that we don’t even need half the shit we already have
I’m going home to shut my eyes and smoke myself for the rest of my life
Track Name: In The Interest Of Closing Doors
In the contents of certain rooms, or in the company I’ve kept
Hidden currents conspire with the light to accentuate my missteps
And there are too many of them, and I’ll lose touch one by one
I’m just not entirely sure I was intended for human connection
And there is something to be said for this reclusive life I’ve found
But I didn’t realize that in all this empty space I could still drown

What a waste of all that space and design
I just haven’t felt like myself for some time
It goes to show how easy it is
To never really understand what makes you the happiest

In the interest of closing doors to the most crowded, yet, empty rooms
Or incase the silence didn’t come across as obviously as intended to
I hated how I turned out to be, so I said what I needed to my teeth
And washed the bad taste out, with coffee, dirt roads and far too much weed
Track Name: Pliers
Tiny square rooms don’t contain the space it takes
To properly furnish all the thoughts in one’s brain
Stayed tired to get some sleep
Wound up boring and bored a hole through my head way too easily

What in the fuck did I open up my mouth for
You would think I’d have learned from the hundred million times before
Got gone from the places that knew me well
There really is nothing that a little distance couldn’t help

Chewing on my tongue until it starts to resemble the feeling of fun
Or something less like
Pulling out my teeth with pliers just to spite my speech
Like it mattered either way

Trying hard to be where I am when I’m there
Find myself the nicest place on the ground to sit and stare
Got lost, it offered far more comfort than I ever would have thought
Familiar or not most days

I wanna secede from the rest of humanity
Keep to myself and

Retreat, retreat
Into anything but a screen
Retreat, retreat
From all this grey concrete
Retreat, retreat
Into my favorite shade of green
Retreat, retreat
From distraction you don’t need
Retreat, retreat
And I’ve been meaning to
Retreat again, again, again, again
Track Name: Metta Sutta
Getting lost offered more comfort than I thought
No goals set, no disappointments
Strategy turned out to be
Pedaling a false sense of stability… to me

Stay weird and get me the fuck out of here
When things are bad and no one even cares
I know I want to go but I don’t know where
It just seems like a ways away

Keeping calm proved to be easier said than done
No effort in, No apprehension
Abnormality always offered more to me
So I’m trying to take comfort in the instabilities